Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Feeling a lot washed out

It's been a while since I last posted, not really been in the mood for doing much. Although I have been trying to get out more.
My mood generally feels like it's a bit erratic at the moment which I'm putting down to the tablets? On the citalopram at least I can tell now that I was kind of coasting, I think that's a good thing, though I'm not sure.
In fact, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel, it's been that long now since I was "normal" for want of a better word.

Still having thoughts about what it must be like to be in a relationship, to have someone to share things with. But then would I or they be able to cope with this "strangeness" that is depression, let alone anxiety.

Met up with some pretty awesome Sheffielders lately which is always nice; hopefully it'll open my social circles a bit so that I'm less scared/anxious about going to places where anxiety usually stops me. I keep remembering how I used to "just go out" and inevitably bump into people, how different it is now :(

I think I'm a bit more organised now; got my phone calendar syncing with my Google Calendar so in theory I shouldn't miss appointments. Though I did miss one, but that was down to having a bad migraine and crashing out.

Still trying to find my creative side. Been trying to get my camera out more, but I seem to have lost the urge to play in 3D which is just a bit annoying - there's quite a few ideas I want to play out, but as soon as I fire up the software I forget how to use it and what to do :(

Feeling a bit old from the walking too, I seem to have developed a very tired, achy knee and ankle.

Judging from the above I guess I'm thinking a bit fragmented too, or maybe it's just that it feels ages since I posted anything of consequence. Hmmmm.

Oh, and finally got an appointment through for Urology so I might be able to stop being addicted to Codeine for the random kidney pains; and they might be able to help me get rid of the stones and the cyst. Yay!

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